Guest List Galore

Before you sit down and decide if your centerpieces are going to incorporate lilies or tulips, if your bridesmaid’s dresses are going to be short or long, or if pink up lighting will look good with blue table cloths, you have to decide who is going to see all of these bells and whistles. That’s right; you have to decide on your guest list.

Figuring out the “who” of your wedding is one of the first steps of planning, right after budgeting. Now that you know the dough, you gotta figure out the flow... of people. Okay, that didn’t exactly rhyme, but you get our point. Who’s coming to your wedding?!

Brigid Horne-Nestor

We decided to take this question to the big guys and ask Brigid Horne-Nestor of I-do Weddings & Events. Brigid is one of only 69 Master Bridal Consultants around the world, so it’s safe to say she knows a thing or two about weddings. Having won many awards and rated five-stars on Wedding Wire, I-do Weddings & Events is a wedding planning and event coordination firm. Along with providing wedding planning guidance, i-do Wedding & Events also manages i-do Boutique, “a storefront wedding library in O’Bryonville that recommends top vendors and provides complimentary advice,” Brigid explains.

While managing a storefront and running a coordination firm, Brigid also gives excellent advice and her first advice to brides figuring out their guest lists is to determine how many people the bride feels at ease talking to. “If you wouldn’t send them a Christmas card or invite them to your home for dinner, why would you want to invite them to your wedding?” Brigid asks. Make sure you feel comfortable with each guest there!

i-do Boutique

“A lot of brides make the mistake of ‘obligatory invitations.’ This means inviting every person who has ever invited them to a wedding in the past. Or, she may invite someone she was friends with years ago simply out of obligation. My best advice is to invite the people who matter most to you in the present,” Brigid recommends.

If you are tight on money and need an additional way to save, the easiest way to cut back would be to eliminate the option for some guests to bring a plus one. Brigid explains, "Traditionally, you only include a plus one for guests if the couple has been together for at least a year or they are engaged." However, if your budget is large enough why not have a large guest count! "The more the merrier," as Brigid says!

While you can control if you want to invite your second cousin’s half-removed step daughter, when it comes to who your parents and soon to be parents-in-law invite, your guest list may be a bit out of your hands. I-do Weddings & Events likes to use the equal thirds rule. Regardless of who is financing the wedding, Brigid believes you should divide the guest list into three equal parts. She gives the example of a 300 guest count wedding. Parents of the bride would invite 100 people, parents of the groom would invite 100 people and then the bride and groom would invite 100 people.  This way, everyone has a say in who is invited to your big day (OK- that did rhyme!).

With your parents and parents-in-law having an equal say in who to invite, keep in mind that there may be plenty of out of town guests coming your way. In order to make these guests feel welcomed, i-do suggests providing them with a “Welcome Bag” of goodies when they check into their hotel rooms (which you should have reserved for them!). i-do Weddings & Events offers custom welcome bags at their i-do Boutique. “These often include treats from the best local eateries in town.” You might also want to include a booklet of information regarding the wedding weekend and suggestions of things for the guests to do while they’re in town, Brigid adds.

Ceremony in The Center

 

The wedding isn’t the only guest list you have to think about, however. Many events happen along with the wedding; including an engagement party, a wedding shower and a rehearsal dinner. In today’s day and age, it may be difficult to determine who you should invite to each event. Brigid suggests that anyone you invite to a wedding-related activity should also be invited to the wedding itself. The only exception, she explains, is if a group of work acquaintances decided to host a shower. But how do you figure out who’s invited to these wedding-related events?

“For an engagement party, it is most appropriate to invite close family and friends. The same would be true for a wedding shower,” Brigid tells us. “A rehearsal dinner is one of the most treasured memories couples have because it is an intimate celebration with those who are closest to them. Don’t make the mistake of inviting too many people to a rehearsal dinner. The best rehearsal dinners are under 40 guests.”

In order to keep all of these guests lists in line, Brigid stresses the importance of organization. “Consider color-coding each guest on the list to correspond with the person who invited them (bride & groom, parents of the groom, etc.). If a guest does not send back the response card, the person who invited them should be the one to contact them and find out if they plan to attend.”

As soon as the RSVP’s start rolling in, I-do Weddings & Events suggests grouping your guests into tables. Assign each RSVP into a certain category right when you open it. For example, make a list of “Bride’s college friends” “Dad’s work associates”, “Mom’s family”, and so on to keep straight who is who. This way you’re ahead of the game when it comes time to make your final table assignments.

Might we suggest hiring a wedding coordinator to help ease some of those guest list jitters? “When it comes to the final guest list and table assignments, be sure to alphabetize your guests and give the list to your Day of Coordinator or catering captain,” Brigid says. “This will make it easy for us to help a guest find their table if there’s an issue with seating on the wedding day.”

The Center's entrance

 

Although deciding who is going to witness one of the most important days of your life may be a bit nerve-racking, take a deep breathe, set aside your worries and keep in mind that this day is about you and your groom; invite those who matter most to you in the present.

Learn more about i-do Weddings & Events and i-do Boutique by visiting their website or contacting them at (513)762-5550 or info@i-do-weddings.com.

Pictures provided by i-do Weddings & Events and Jonathan Gibson Photography.