The Art of Toasting

The Wedding Toast

The toast is a unique and interesting wedding tradition. In the pre-wedding discussions friends and family tend to focus on the colors, the venue, the food, and we can't forget the dress! Only the individuals who have the designated honor of delivering the special speech may make mention of the tricky task. Not that the toast has to be difficult to make, but there is the knowledge that a bad or awkward speech will stick in the minds of all who heard it. No pressure!

Typically, the Best Man, Maid of Honor, and Fathers of the Bride and Groom deliver a toast. The Bride and Groom may designate other individuals to deliver a speech as well, or in place of the customary speech givers. The toast can take place at the rehearsal dinner or reception.

Often the Groom also speaks after the toasts have been made in order to thank the guests for attending the ceremony and/or reception.

One of the hardest parts of toasting, especially for those among us who feel that we are stand up comedians, is deciding whether to be sentimental or hilarious. If you've seen the movie Wedding Crashers, art imitates life as Claire's (Rachel McAdams) toast gets off to a rough start, which she only recovers from thanks to advice from John (Owen Wilson), "The whole funny-because-it's-true bit only works if the truth is a *small* thing like, 'Everyone knows Jennifer likes to shop, ha ha ha." I think you're better off going with something from the heart. Honestly."

Toasting Advice
Some great tips to make your toast the talk of the town (in a good way) include:

1. Do not stress. Giving the toast is an honor and ultimately it is about the Bride and Groom and their marriage. If public speaking isn't your strong suit, that's okay, but don't apologize for it during the speech!

2. Remember the basics of speech giving - practice makes perfect! Speak at a good pace, speak clearly, avoid fillers like "uh," make eye contact, etc. Whether you write it down or wing it, you will be more comfortable with it if you've practiced beforehand.

3. Do not ramble, and keep the focus on the Bride and Groom. Telling a childhood story or describing how the Bride and Groom met are great ideas for the toast, but if your story does not include the Bride or Groom in it or if the story lasts longer than the reception, rethink telling it.

4. Stay positive. You are taking part in a celebration - no need to dig up past conflicts or predict rough patches in the future.

5. Avoid vulgarity/inappropriate or controversial topics. Staying neutral is really your best bet.

6. As referenced in the quote from Wedding Crashers above, if you decide to be funny, aim for subtle humor and don't be mean!

7. Think before you drink! A glass of wine may help calm your nerves, but don't over do it. You do not want to deliver your toast with slurred speech or blurting out things that you did not mean to say.

8. Watch the emotions. A tear from the Father of the Bride's eye is cute, but the Maid of Honor sobbing uncontrollably for an extended period of time is not cute.

9. Try to keep the toast to 5 minutes or less. 

10. You are not giving a lecture. This is not the best time to dole out advice.


For more ideas and tips on preparing a wedding toast, click HERE